i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
