I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
