my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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