Where did you get a picture of my penis
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
