you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
