If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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