I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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