what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
