ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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