my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
