Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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