Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
