I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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