You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize