I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
