Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
