one two three fourrrrnication!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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