Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
