Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize