the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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