u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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