apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
