What a fucking waste of an outfit
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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