Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
