Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
