This girl is more easily done than said...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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