I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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