going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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