I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
