I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
