Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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