Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
