my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think people are normalizing furries
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
