so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
