She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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