i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
