brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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