If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
