If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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