have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
