My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
