She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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