Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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