Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize