you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
