all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
