I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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