Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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