shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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