The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
