Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
