All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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