she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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