You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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