so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
