So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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