He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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