Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
